Automaton
by JJ CJ
Summary: Automaton He is Controlled. One that behaves in a mechanical way. Draco watches as Harry succumbs to the weight on his shoulders. Slight HD Slash. Can be seen as friendship. Warning for Angst.


**AUTOMATON**

-- _Harry Potter, H/D_

_Au·tom·a·ton - Pronunciation Key (ô-tm-tn, -tn)  
n. pl. au·tom·a·tons or au·tom·a·ta (-t) _

_1. A self-operating machine or mechanism, especially a robot.   
2. One that behaves or responds in a mechanical way._

(_Italics_ are song lyrics...)  
(Authour's Notes at the bottom of the Story.)

----

_He arrived on the scene  
No Past and no Future  
He seemed to know your dreams  
Replace Tears with Laughter_

Draco watched the scarred brunette, at the other end of the single table that had been set up for the few students who had staayed at Hogwarts over Christmas Break, laughing and chatting with the Weasle and the Bookworm. He seemed so..._happy_, even knowing that he would one day have to defeat the Dark Lord or die trying.

_Street Corner whispers  
Would mention his name  
Selfish? Benevolent?  
What was his Game?_

As Draco headed towards the Library, he caught sight of Potter and Weasley argueing near the great hall, Granger standing to one side of the redhead, glareing at Potter. Finally, Weasley threw up his handsa nd stalked away, Granger following in his wake. As Potter turned to go the other way, Draco saw an expression of greif plastered on the young celebrity's face. A day or two later, after being obviously cut off from the rest of his usual trio, Potter appologized to Weasley, in the Great Hall. Granger's face seemed to favor taking him back into the fold, but the Weasle just sneered and turned back to his paper.

_Some say he's perfect  
Some say a spy  
A hidden Power,   
They all wonder why  
The rumours mounted  
But still no fact?  
I need to find out_

Draco sat in the library, thinking, under the guise of studying transfiguration, about the Gryffindor Golden Boy. His life was so out in the open - everyone knew everything about him. If Potter so much as changed shampoo, the whole school would know about it. Anyone he date was singled out as a target of both Hate and Jealousy. And yet Potter never seemed to notice. Like water from the back of a duck, the rumours just seemed to slide past him. As if in testament to his thoughts, a group of second year girls somewhere behind him started whispering and giggling about the youngest Weasley's breif tryst with Potter.  
"_Some say_..."  
"...so _Perfect_!"   
"_Hidden_..."  
"..._Power_?..."(_1_)   
_We all wonder why_

Draco resolved to ask the Golden Boy himself. No one could be that unaffected by having their lives dissected and talked about 24/7.

_Questions Unanswered  
Suspicions Alerted  
I went round to his place..._

Upon leaving the library, Draco headed to the one part of the school he was almost never anywhere near - the Gryffindor Tower. On the way up, he arranged his questions, his demands, for the Boy-Who-Lived in his head. What did he want from life, really? What did he really think? Everything. As he reached the Portrait of the Fat Woman, a thought reached him - He didn't have the password. HOwever this thought only had time to brush its fingers against his mind, for as he stopped in front of the painting, it suddenly swang(_2_) open. A bushy head of hair appeared and its owner's eyes lit upon him.

"Malfoy..." Granger breathed. Then, louder, and more urgently, "Thank goodness! Ron won't stay with him, and I can't leave him alone, but I really need to go get Pomfrey..." And as she spoke, she pulled him into the tower and pushed him in the direction of Harry's Dorm room.

_...It felt quite deserted  
I climbed the stairs  
To where he lay without motion  
No spirit lives in here  
The cord has been broken_

Draco's eyes fell upon the figure of a thin black haired boy on the floor resting against what he guessed was Potter's bed. He walked over to Harry and knelt in front of him. The blonde tilted his head to the side to get a better look at his "enemy's" eyes. What he saw surprised him.

Those green eyes he had seen so bright with life a few days before were blank, staring glassily off into a corner of the room, not registering anything.  
"Potter?" Draco's voice felt rough, with (was it?) grief. And, as he wondered why Granger ahd chosen him to watch over Potter, he again tried to see into Harry's eyes. "...Harry? Are...Are you alright?" Draco allowed his eyes to ghost breifly over Harry's unhealthily pale skin and too thin limbs. 'I guess this answers almost all my questions...'

_His skin was Reptile  
No life in there..._

Draco placed a hand on Harry's shoulder, trying to wake the boy from his trance-like state, and was surprised at how cold it was. In an uncharacteristic show of kindness, he gently shook the boy, trying not to jar him to badly.

_...Not young, not old  
A long hollow glare..._

Harry turned his eyes on Draco, in a dead, blank glare. As Draco stared into those once vivid eyes, he was struck by how old, and world weary they appeared. They were not the eyes of a young man, but a doddering old grandfather who had lived through too many wars.

_...His breath had stopped  
No hearts beat in there..._(_3_)

Draco couldn't help but think that it looked as though Harry had lost everything that mattered to him in the world, that he didn't care about anything anymore.

_...Is this a man?  
Should I beleive?  
(Hidden Power)   
They all wondered why_

As he awaited Granger's return with the nurse, Draco let his thoughts wander over what had originally brought on his pensive regarding of Harry. In a breif, and odd, serious moment in their mocking of the Golden Trio, Blaise had made a wondering remark about how Potter dealt with the weight of bein gthe saviour of the wizarding world.

_My attention was caught  
By a sound at the door  
Panic gripped the Mind_

At the unexpected opening of the door, Draco whirled around and out of his reverie to see Granger and Pomfrey standing there. He turned back to prise Harry's fingers from the hem of his cloak (How had they tightened so much, so quickly, without his noticing?)

_What lay in store  
A being stared at me  
Benevolent, not cold_

Draco drew his eyes up to meet with Harry's one last time...At the pleading look he saw there, so different from the blank stare, Draco found he couldn't look away or leave the poor boy like that.  
As Madame Pomfrey knelt down next to the pair, Harry's red fingers closed around Draco's dyeing them the same colour.

_Automaton - He is Controlled_

----

(1) This little passge is originally a little spoken bridge between verses, and I still wanted to keep it, so I stuck it in like this.  
(2) Okay, this sounds wrong, but I just can't figure it out. Swing, Swang, Swung, right?  
(3) Okay, in the acctual lyrics in the Album sleeve this si how its written.

----

The song is Automaton by Howard Jones, whom I am in love with.

For those who didn't get it (few though you are...), Harry tried to commit suicide, becasue on top of being the saviour of the Wizarding World, he's gotten into a seemingly unbreachable rift with his best friend, and has just begun to realize that he will probably never be with the person he's fallen in love with. (As an Avid H/D shipper (and the mention at the begining of this fic) I hope you realize who that is.)  
In my mind, I think that the fight with Ron was probably about Draco - Harry wanting to tell him, Ron telling him he'll just get hurt. It escalated into a fight about who was in control of Harry's life ("_He is Controlled_"). Hermy, I think, was just fed up with Harry's emo-ness, as are we all. Just Fuck Draco already and get over the poor me attitude!  
And finally: I CAN'T BELEIVE I FUCKING WROTE THAT. I just wrote an Emo-harry-tries-to-kill-himself-and-draco-comes-to-save- him-at-the-last-minute fic! hangs self Argh. Although, I didn't write the ending purposefuly, so that the reader could make for themselves a happy or sad ending.

**ALSO -- BIG NOTE** I feel this could use some work. I wanted to post it up and get it out there, already, though, so I'd really appreciate it if I could get some feedback - like the parts with dialogue, I'm not sure if they ruin the flow of the song/story, or if they sound okay. I'll gladly accept critics!  
Hopefully Yours,  
-- Jai, on June the (something) 2006.


End file.
